Choosing a life long partner

by Syreeta on January 28, 2010

What is “really” important when choosing a mate? Do you know? Have you taken the time to “really” think about it? Is this something you have come up with on your own or are you seeking advice from others? Have you prepared  a list? Or are you one who says, “I will know it when I see it!  When it’s right in front of my face I will know it. I will get butterflies and I will know he is the one.”

Well it’s now time to be intentional in everything that we do. I have heard it said before that LUCK is when preparation meets opportunity. In order to not be moved by mere feelings that can someday disappear, you should desire the mate that God has chosen for you. It’s not based on how someone looks or how much money s/he makes, what kind of car s/he drives, what city s/he lives in etc… but rather what’s most important are the characteristics of that person. Things like morals, character, how they treat you, how they treat their family, how they treat strangers, your children (if you have them) are key factors. Now don’t get me wrong! That  ”feeling” is important but don’t let that be your only guide. Back it up with your absolutes to confirm your feelings. Also back it up with the word of God, the ultimate matchmaker. Selecting a mate is the most important part of having a great relationship. Let’s get it right from the start. Let’s set ourselves up for success.

So what’s really important to you? Do you know? Be prayerful in asking God what you need. Yes need…not necessarily want or think you may need.  Ask Him to reveal the mate that He has selected for you. Take this time now to pray and ask God to reveal to you what you need in a mate. Ask Him for clarity on what qualities are essential. And after you pray, make a list.  List the qualities that definitely resonate with you. We call it your “absolutes.”  Absolutes are deal breakers!  For some, they include: s/he does not do drugs, s/he is goal-oriented, s/he must have a relationship with God. Things like that.

What characteristics do you desire in a mate? Remove all the shallow things like… s/he has to live in this area, make this kind of money, drive this kind of car.  Rather, reflect on things that truly matter. Alot of times we pass up on great people and even what may have been great relationships because s/he didn’t fit inside a box of things that truly don’t matter. If you are dating or in the process of selecting  a life long partner, give yourself this gift.

Let us know how this process works out for you. Share your story in the comments section. We look forward to hearing from you.

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