Comments on: How are children affected by divorce? http://www.marlonandsyreeta.com/2010/01/how-are-children-affected-by-divorce/ Trust God! Love Yourself! Grow Together! Tue, 03 Apr 2012 08:15:21 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: E. Roth http://www.marlonandsyreeta.com/2010/01/how-are-children-affected-by-divorce/comment-page-1/#comment-182 E. Roth Wed, 30 Mar 2011 02:40:58 +0000 http://www.marlonandsyreeta.com/?p=228#comment-182 My parents divorced just after I married and it effected me until the day they (both) died 40 years later. It effected every birthday, every Christmas, every family get-together. My mother remarried to a "man" that made my father look like a saint. That marriage never lasted either. We were a family of five. My eldest brother divorced his wife and had a child in a (failed) common law relationship and ended up drinking himself to death, my second eldest had a failed marriage, my sister never married but had two children, my youngest brother would have ended up in jail if he hadn't joined the Navy. I read once that children can withstand the death of parent easier than a divorce, because they blame themselves. The divorced parents generally go on to others who often abuse their children in horrible ways. Check out the street kids.... how many come from the homes of divorced couples? So no one will ever convince me that divorce does not effect children and if you think you are going to gather more "into the fold" with Liberal ideas on marriage/divorce you wrong. Divorce does have a huge effect on children. Maybe you need to take lessons from Dr. Laura Schlesinger. People need to pay more attention to who they marry in the first place. My parents divorced just after I married and it effected me until the day they (both) died 40 years later. It effected every birthday, every Christmas, every family get-together. My mother remarried to a “man” that made my father look like a saint. That marriage never lasted either. We were a family of five. My eldest brother divorced his wife and had a child in a (failed) common law relationship and ended up drinking himself to death, my second eldest had a failed marriage, my sister never married but had two children, my youngest brother would have ended up in jail if he hadn't joined the Navy. I read once that children can withstand the death of parent easier than a divorce, because they blame themselves. The divorced parents generally go on to others who often abuse their children in horrible ways. Check out the street kids…. how many come from the homes of divorced couples? So no one will ever convince me that divorce does not effect children and if you think you are going to gather more “into the fold” with Liberal ideas on marriage/divorce you wrong. Divorce does have a huge effect on children. Maybe you need to take lessons from Dr. Laura Schlesinger. People need to pay more attention to who they marry in the first place.

]]> By: marlonsmith http://www.marlonandsyreeta.com/2010/01/how-are-children-affected-by-divorce/comment-page-1/#comment-145 marlonsmith Wed, 10 Mar 2010 19:56:57 +0000 http://www.marlonandsyreeta.com/?p=228#comment-145 Greggory, thanks for sharing this resource. It is important that we utilize various resources that help us maximize our true potential. I visited the website. In what ways have you found the kid's planner / organizer to make a difference? Greggory, thanks for sharing this resource. It is important that we utilize various resources that help us maximize our true potential. I visited the website. In what ways have you found the kid's planner / organizer to make a difference?

]]> By: marlonsmith http://www.marlonandsyreeta.com/2010/01/how-are-children-affected-by-divorce/comment-page-1/#comment-108 marlonsmith Wed, 10 Mar 2010 12:56:57 +0000 http://www.marlonandsyreeta.com/?p=228#comment-108 Greggory, thanks for sharing this resource. It is important that we utilize various resources that help us maximize our true potential. I visited the website. In what ways have you found the kid's planner / organizer to make a difference? Greggory, thanks for sharing this resource. It is important that we utilize various resources that help us maximize our true potential. I visited the website. In what ways have you found the kid's planner / organizer to make a difference?

]]> By: greggory_sarkowski http://www.marlonandsyreeta.com/2010/01/how-are-children-affected-by-divorce/comment-page-1/#comment-105 greggory_sarkowski Sun, 07 Mar 2010 06:10:13 +0000 http://www.marlonandsyreeta.com/?p=228#comment-105 When me and my ex-wife had a divorce early this year, we tried our best to explain it to our kids and for them to accept it soon. My ex-wife used a kids'planner/organizer which really helped them cope up with this situation. So far, they have been doing ok. Thanks to <a href="http://co-panning-manager.com" rel="nofollow">co-panning-manager.com</a> (<a href="http://4help.to/children" rel="nofollow">http://4help.to/children</a>) and its kids'planner. When me and my ex-wife had a divorce early this year, we tried our best to explain it to our kids and for them to accept it soon. My ex-wife used a kids'planner/organizer which really helped them cope up with this situation. So far, they have been doing ok. Thanks to co-panning-manager.com (http://4help.to/children) and its kids'planner.

]]> By: Syreeta http://www.marlonandsyreeta.com/2010/01/how-are-children-affected-by-divorce/comment-page-1/#comment-38 Syreeta Mon, 01 Feb 2010 17:49:03 +0000 http://www.marlonandsyreeta.com/?p=228#comment-38 Menabear I totally agree with you! That is why it is imperative to continuously strive for a healthy marriage. That is our purpose for creating this site. We realize how important it is for families that marriages survive. I totally agree that sometimes staying together when things are really bad can be just as bad if not worse than divorce for you and your children. It is because of that, that your children grow up and get themselves in an unhealthy situation and think it's normal. They then go on to perpetuate the dysfunctional cycle we know today. Children see more then we realize. No matter what we say to them they are watching what we DO much more than anything we say. Let's lead by example....a healthy example. A healthy marriage is not something that just happens we have to work at it. It may be rough at times but as long as you have two people that are committed...it can be. As long as you believe and trust in the Creator of all things...it can be. Marriage challenges us to grow in our areas of weakness. That may come by way of conflict in marriage. Challenges are opportunities for growth. It is how we respond to those challenges that matters most. How often are you willing to lay down yourself for your spouse? I challenge you to check out a post from Lisa & Mike Shea on February 2nd to learn more about how the concept of love and respect changed their marriage. Because of what you experienced you now have gotten a glimpse on how divorce can effect children. That is even more reason to stick it out. I am not saying to stick it out through it all. That is a choice one has to make for himself. God hates divorce and even He has limits. Through prayer all things are possible... I am soo happy that things worked out for the better for your and your husband. I wish you all the best! Menabear I totally agree with you! That is why it is imperative to continuously strive for a healthy marriage. That is our purpose for creating this site. We realize how important it is for families that marriages survive.

I totally agree that sometimes staying together when things are really bad can be just as bad if not worse than divorce for you and your children. It is because of that, that your children grow up and get themselves in an unhealthy situation and think it’s normal. They then go on to perpetuate the dysfunctional cycle we know today.

Children see more then we realize. No matter what we say to them they are watching what we DO much more than anything we say. Let’s lead by example….a healthy example.

A healthy marriage is not something that just happens we have to work at it. It may be rough at times but as long as you have two people that are committed…it can be. As long as you believe and trust in the Creator of all things…it can be.

Marriage challenges us to grow in our areas of weakness. That may come by way of conflict in marriage. Challenges are opportunities for growth. It is how we respond to those challenges that matters most. How often are you willing to lay down yourself for your spouse? I challenge you to check out a post from Lisa & Mike Shea on February 2nd to learn more about how the concept of love and respect changed their marriage.

Because of what you experienced you now have gotten a glimpse on how divorce can effect children. That is even more reason to stick it out. I am not saying to stick it out through it all. That is a choice one has to make for himself. God hates divorce and even He has limits.

Through prayer all things are possible… I am soo happy that things worked out for the better for your and your husband. I wish you all the best!

]]> By: Cousin Kim http://www.marlonandsyreeta.com/2010/01/how-are-children-affected-by-divorce/comment-page-1/#comment-36 Cousin Kim Mon, 01 Feb 2010 16:38:40 +0000 http://www.marlonandsyreeta.com/?p=228#comment-36 I have to agree with Menabear that a "Healthy Household" is important for children. My mother and father separated when my sister and I where very young so we do not remember what took place between the two of them. I believe their separation was in our best interest because I look at my half sisters who had our father in their lives from day one and the up bringings are night and day. For majority of my life I was raised in a second generation single family household that was filled with so much love. My mother and grandmother ensured that my sister and I had what we needed and often made tremedous sacrifics for us. Society trys to project that something like this does not exist but it does. Yet my half-sisters were raised in a two parent home and are extremely disfunctional. They witnessed first hand the discord between their parents and its impact is affecting them today. As for my marriage, I thought I was doing the "right" thing by staying in my marriage for my kids but in all essence, it was the complete opposite. It wasn't until my now 20 y/o daughter told me that she couldn't wait for me and my EX to part ways. They knew we weren't connected to one another as our actions showed. But thankfully, it didnt take us much time to realize what we were going through, the kids were going through it too and made an immediate decision to do whats best for the kids and ourselves. The kids first. We now reside in two separate homes, have open custody for the youngest, and everyone is "happy". We still do things as a family because we will always be connected through our children. I have to agree with Menabear that a “Healthy Household” is important for children. My mother and father separated when my sister and I where very young so we do not remember what took place between the two of them. I believe their separation was in our best interest because I look at my half sisters who had our father in their lives from day one and the up bringings are night and day.

For majority of my life I was raised in a second generation single family household that was filled with so much love. My mother and grandmother ensured that my sister and I had what we needed and often made tremedous sacrifics for us. Society trys to project that something like this does not exist but it does. Yet my half-sisters were raised in a two parent home and are extremely disfunctional. They witnessed first hand the discord between their parents and its impact is affecting them today.

As for my marriage, I thought I was doing the “right” thing by staying in my marriage for my kids but in all essence, it was the complete opposite. It wasn’t until my now 20 y/o daughter told me that she couldn’t wait for me and my EX to part ways. They knew we weren’t connected to one another as our actions showed. But thankfully, it didnt take us much time to realize what we were going through, the kids were going through it too and made an immediate decision to do whats best for the kids and ourselves. The kids first. We now reside in two separate homes, have open custody for the youngest, and everyone is “happy”. We still do things as a family because we will always be connected through our children.

]]> By: Menabear http://www.marlonandsyreeta.com/2010/01/how-are-children-affected-by-divorce/comment-page-1/#comment-34 Menabear Wed, 27 Jan 2010 15:49:18 +0000 http://www.marlonandsyreeta.com/?p=228#comment-34 Nice article. I've read statistics that show how divorce sometimes impacts adult children worse than smaller children. I personally, was separated several years ago for one year. The impact on the children was heart wrenching. I saw grades decline, anxiety (nail biting), separation anxiety(are you comin' back?), disappointment, and a multitude of other things. Once my husband and I got help for the entire family and reconciled, the children's symptoms improved drastically. It was amazing to witness. 'Tis also true that living in a household filled with tension is sometimes worse than the actual divorce or separation. Children are watching your EVERY move whether we know it or not. They look to us for signals on how to have healthy relationships and be healthy people. Two parent households are very important but a healthy household (two parent or not) is what the ultimate focus should be for young, developing minds and personalities. Nice article. I’ve read statistics that show how divorce sometimes impacts adult children worse than smaller children. I personally, was separated several years ago for one year. The impact on the children was heart wrenching. I saw grades decline, anxiety (nail biting), separation anxiety(are you comin’ back?), disappointment, and a multitude of other things. Once my husband and I got help for the entire family and reconciled, the children’s symptoms improved drastically. It was amazing to witness. ‘Tis also true that living in a household filled with tension is sometimes worse than the actual divorce or separation. Children are watching your EVERY move whether we know it or not. They look to us for signals on how to have healthy relationships and be healthy people. Two parent households are very important but a healthy household (two parent or not) is what the ultimate focus should be for young, developing minds and personalities.

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