As parents, raising a child is truly a privilege that requires your full attention.
Think back to when you were a child. What do you remember? What are the significant childhood experiences and memories that shaped who you are today? What life lessons, spoken and unspoken, did you learn from your parents?
I ask these questions because it is very important that we understand how significant a child’s upbringing is in determining their values, self-esteem, and future aspirations.
Parents have a tremendous responsibility to influence their children in positive ways because children are gifts from God.
Is it your desire to have children?
Well, it can happen at any time. Trust me, I know because our daughter Jade was conceived either during our wedding night or during our honeymoon because we were celibate prior to getting married.
Getting pregnant so soon was not our plan because we were looking to wait 2 to 3 years before having a baby I so we could spend our first years of marriage strengthening our bond as husband and wife. But that was not God’s plan because upon returning from our honeymoon, we learned that Syreeta was pregnant.
So did getting pregnant and having a baby transform our marriage?
Yes, definitely! When we found out that Syreeta was pregnant, all of our energy was focused on preparing for the gift of having a child.
And let me tell you, preparing to have a baby was EASY when compared to when our baby was born and came home with us. For me, as a father, I felt so blessed to have a baby and I did everything I could to ensure that I was a good father, attending to all of Jade’s needs.
Waking up in the middle of the night to change her or feed her became part of my routine. Playing with her and making her smile became the highlights of my day.
So what happened to my marriage?
Syreeta and I worked together as a team taking care of all of Jade’s needs.
And now that Jade is older, we still do our best to spend quality time with her but we also realize the importance of spending quality time together as husband and wife.
I have heard many couples say, “It just doesn’t feel like we have any time now that we have children.”
I can definitely relate because there are times when it feels like there just isn’t enough time in the day to get everything done.
But truth be told, for you and me to experience the quality of life that we desire, it requires that we have balance. In order to have balance, one important key is to have clear intentions as to what you desire to accomplish in each specific area of your life.
When it comes to having children, it’s very important to gain clarity on your desired outcomes. Here are 4 empowering questions for you as an effective parent:
- What values do you want to instill in your children?
- What can you do every day to connect with your child and show your love?
- What is your vision for how your child will be as an adult?
- What lessons from your life experiences can you share with your child?
It is important that you spend quality time with your child. God has blessed you with the opportunity to instill specific values in your child so he or she grows into a responsible and respectful adult. As a parent, this is your responsibility and it requires your time.
Make no mistake about it… Spending quality time with your child is important because before you know it, your child will be on his or her own.
Yes, time does fly. My children, Deja and Jade, are growing so fast that I truly understand just how precious time really is.
Make the most of your time with your child or children because it is the greatest investment that you can make.
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