Who is your ideal mate?
Do you know?
What are the characteristics of your ideal mate?
Unfortunately, so many people just enter the dating scene without ever first determining with whom they ideally are looking to connect and develop a relationship.
Without any clear direction, their dating experience is like being a ball in a pinball machine, just being bounced around from person to person. Having clarity on what you are looking for in a partner will save time and unnecessary headaches.
Here are 8 steps for determining your ideal mate:
- Describe your ideal mate.
- Write all the characteristics that this person has.
- Review your list and prioritize them in order of most-important to least-important, by numbering each characteristic, with “1” being the most-important.
- Rewrite your list of characteristics in order of most-important to least-important.
- Review your list and put an asterisk (*) next to the characteristics that are “absolutes,” non-negotiable deal-breakers, for your ideal mate. (Note: If you meet someone and he or she does not have these non-negotiable characteristics, then do not start a relationship with this person. Yes, people can definitely change and grow but why expend your time and energy into someone when headache warning signs are flashing loud and clear?)
- Review your list and for each characteristic, ask yourself, “Do I really possess this characteristic myself?” This is a powerful question because honestly speaking, some people say that their ideal partner has to have “such and such” when they don’t even possess those particular qualities.
- For the characteristics that you desire to enhance within yourself, take action on improving yourself.
- Review your list on a regular basis so you may be conscious and aware of your ideal mate as well as monitor your improvement areas.
Prior to meeting my wife, I completed these steps in determining my ideal partner. My list gave me focus while being on the dating scene. Another benefit was that I began working on my improvement areas so I could be ready to receive my ideal partner.
When I eventually met Syreeta, it was clear to me that she possessed all of my non-negotiable characteristics.
Although she did not have my entire list of ideal mate characteristics, that was ok because through prayer, God revealed that Syreeta was to be my life-long partner. And truth be told, Syreeta has many other attributes and gifts (not even on my list) that has blessed my life so much.
Realize this: None of us are perfect. We’re all growing. By completing these 8 steps, you will discover things about yourself and what you truly value. And this will bless you because you will now have more focus.
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