Based on what we see in the movies or on television, love is presented as some type of feeling that leads to romance and ultimately to sex.
You know what I’m talking about… The couple is strolling on the beach with the sunset in the horizon. They stop. He looks into her eyes and smiles. She gazes into his eyes. He slowly leans in and they kiss. Romantic music plays. And the next scene shows the two of them in bed, making love.
Is this really love?
What do you think?
Is love a feeling or is it a choice?
Many of us grow up being conditioned to believe that love is romance, intimacy and sex. But does this really describe love for all relationships? For instance, is the love you have for a parent the same as the love you have for a friend or the person you are dating or married to?
No, there are different types of love. In fact, here are four types of love that we experience:
- “Phileo” means tender affection… love of a friendship
- “Storge” means the love of family (i.e. parents toward their children & vice versa… siblings & extended family)
- “Eros” means physical or sexual love (it is physical in nature, therefore eros is controlled by chemical reactions within the body)
- “Agape” means God’s unconditional love (it is others-conscious, not self-conscious… It is a choice, not based on emotions but on deliberate decision)
So when we talk about “LOVE,” it’s better to be intentional with our language so there is clarity.
From these four definitions, which is the most important type of love to experience when building a healthy marriage and family?
From my perspective, it is “Agape” because blessings happen when people extend and receive unconditional love. We all make mistakes. None of us are perfect and for a husband and wife to communicate through their actions, “I love you unconditionally in spite of your short-comings” is truly amazing.
Being married and raising a family has given me the opportunity to be stretched in my capacity to be loving.
My standard for true unconditional love is based on what God says love is.
“Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy. It does not boast. It is not proud. It is not easily irritated. It keeps not records of wrong doings.” 1st Corinthians 13: 4 – 5
What do you suggest people do in order to demonstrate this type of love in their life?
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