My marriage has given me the opportunity to grow as a man, as a husband, as a father, as a leader, and as a child of God.
Prior to getting married, I really didn’t know all that was required to experience a healthy marriage and family.
Yes, while engaged, Syreeta and I went through pre-marriage counseling sessions but there are many things that have come up in our marriage that were not fully discussed while we were engaged.
I share this with you because my intention is for you and your fiancée to truly have an open dialogue to determine if you are to get married now or if you have some difference of opinions to resolve first before getting married.
Here are 10 questions for you and your fiancée to answer openly and honestly with one another. I encourage both of you to each write your answers first and then share your insights with one another. This is a tremendous opportunity to go deeper in your communication.
Let’s begin.
- Why do you want to get married?
- Why do you think I am the one to be your life-long spouse?
- What happens if I get into a car accident and I’m paralyzed from neck down, will you still be my spouse or would you want a divorce?
- What do you think is the best way to manage our finances?
- Is divorce ever an option?
- What are your “absolutes” that you are expecting from me in this marriage?
- From your perspective, is it ok for me to still hang out and socialize with my single friends?
- Are there any specific things that you want me to change?
- What happens if we get pregnant and it is determined that our baby is likely to be born with some mental or physical challenge? Is having an abortion ever an option for you?
- If you learn that I have some type of addiction, what will you do?
These questions are very hard-hitting. It is better that you and your fiancée have an open and honest conversation upfront now so you may ensure that you both are on the same page as it relates to various life issues.
None of us really expect life to throw serious curve balls our way but it can happen. So it’s better to discuss potential challenges and issues now rather than experiencing something later only to realize that you and your spouse have a huge difference of opinion.
As you go through these questions, remember to be respectful of your partner because all of us are entitled to our opinions.
If certain questions cause some major drama, do get some Christian pre-marital counseling so you may resolve any specific challenges now that may hinder your marriage.
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