Couple Insights: Adam and Aimee Freeman- “Learning to Keep God in the Center”

by Marlon & Syreeta on February 25, 2010

During the month of February, we are excited to profile a different couple each day on our Blog site. We have asked each couple to share their answers to specific questions concerning marriage and family. The couples we have invited are at different stages in their marriage… Some have been married for decades while others for a few years.  There are even couples who are separated with hopes of reconciling as well as couples currently experiencing a challenging time in their marriage.  The one thing all of these couples have in common is their willingness to share “real” insights to help strengthen other marriages, families, and those desiring to be married.

Marriages are NOT all perfect and just because there are challenges doesn’t mean it cannot evolve into a GREAT marriage. Challenges = Growth Opportunities.

Our intention is to create more realistic depictions of marriage…the “real” deal and what it takes to make a marriage work.  As you will realize by reading these couples’ insights, GREAT marriages don’t just happen. They take conscious effort and continuous work.

So let us learn from their wisdom. Feel free to chime in and ask questions or even just share your thoughts. After reading today’s insights, post your comment to the question: “What did I learn from today’s insights?”  Let’s continue sharing insights. It is our desire to create a dialog so we all learn from others’ experiences and mistakes because this will help create more healthier marriages and families. Join the movement!

Let’s now read some insights from Adam & Aimee Freeman…

Aimee&Adam

Adam & I met nearly six years ago & I almost immediately knew that he would be “My forever.” Unfortunately, just a week after meeting, Adam would be moving six hours away. We spent nearly every minute of that week together and it was truly amazing. From hanging out watching movies to an impulsive middle of the night drive, to receive a kiss in the rain under the moonlight at the beach, our bond was being formed. We didn’t want to be without each other.

When Adam moved away, I traveled to see him every other weekend for the next six months. Eventually, he would move back home so that we could all be together and be a family. Life seemed great on the surface, until we would argue. God was not the center of our lives back then and it certainly showed in how we treated each other. One second we would be “that loving couple” and the next moment, we couldn’t stand each other. There was no respect, no grace, and terrible communication. Luckily however, there was plenty of love and ultimately, God’s plan.

Coming from a broken home and being previously divorced myself, I knew that something needed to change. I constantly tried to “fix it” on my own which only made Adam feel controlled. I have just recently learned that only God can fix it. I need to rely on Him to make me a better wife, Adam a better husband, and both of us better parents. We can’t do this all by ourselves.

Sadly, for me, coming to this conclusion cost me a lot along the way. Last year, within about a month’s time, we lost our home, our careers went south, we lost our precious daughter, and we were extremely close to getting a divorce. Adam moved 3 ½ hours away and we were apart for three months. The Lord had to take everything away from me for me to see that I NEEDED Him. He had to prove to me that I couldn’t fix it on my own. This was bigger than me. But I realized that He could help me. He could save my marriage even when it seemed hopeless.

That particular summer was the worst summer of my life in many ways and yet, the greatest time in my life in other ways. I developed a relationship with the Lord that I never dreamed possible. I literally could hear Him speaking to me as He directed my actions. He led me to all the right people at the right times.  They came into my life to help me start putting my marriage back together. He allowed Adam’s heart to be softened enough to give our marriage another try. Praise God!

We have been back together for about six months now and our marriage has never been stronger. We have learned some fundamentals that we should have been doing all along.

We have now learned to understand how each of us is different and how to adjust to those differences. We have learned what is important to each other and what our love languages are. We have been reminded that God made us in His image and that makes us perfect, even if we are not always perfect to each other. And most importantly, we have learned that the Lord needs to be our #1 priority in our marriage.

We go to church each week, we volunteer, we participate in small groups as well as a marriage small group together.  And we now realize that when we cut back on any of these activities, the devil tries to attack us full force. He tries to find any way to play on our old insecurities from our past. It is our passion to share the Word with others and because of this commitment, we are easy targets. Learning this and accepting this has been very challenging.

Adam and I have recently decided to implement some new rules into our home.

  • We are setting small and attainable family and marriage goals.
  • We believe that focusing on making this week or month the best that it can be is much easier than changing an entire way of thinking or behavior FOREVER.
  • We have put more faith in letting the Lord lead our lives than ever before.
  • We are constantly researching blogs, books, and articles so that we can be the best possible lifelong mates for each other, our family, and for God.

We made a commitment at our wedding to stay married for all time. We made this promise not only to each other and to our children, but also to the Lord. When times are tough & we feel like giving up, that promise is what keeps us going. The Lord has showed us many times His desire for Adam and I to remain a couple & we are doing our best to honor Him every single day by working hard in our marriage.

Before I go, I just want to say that I love my husband with all of my heart. I may be hard to deal with at times and I will never be perfect, but my commitment to Adam, my marriage, and the Lord is the most important thing in the world to me. I am so blessed to have this wonderful man in my life. Thank you Lord for blessing me so generously!

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  • Bobby

    Adam and Aimee – thank you for sharing. I know someone will be encouraged in hearing how God helped turn things around. Thanks for being so transparent and real.

  • marlonsmith

    Adam and Aimee, I appreciate your willingness to share the “ups” and “downs” of the marriage journey. It's definitely not easy but it's DEFINITELY worth the effort of sacrifice and submission to God's word because of the tremendous growth and blessings that are experienced as a result of persevering through challenges. Although I do not necessarily like or enjoy when I experience trials and tribulations, I have come to realize that these are just really OPPORTUNITIES for me to grow stronger and better. May God continue to bless you and your family.

  • marlonsmith

    Adam and Aimee, I appreciate your willingness to share the “ups” and “downs” of the marriage journey. It's definitely not easy but it's DEFINITELY worth the effort of sacrifice and submission to God's word because of the tremendous growth and blessings that are experienced as a result of persevering through challenges. Although I do not necessarily like or enjoy when I experience trials and tribulations, I have come to realize that these are just really OPPORTUNITIES for me to grow stronger and better. May God continue to bless you and your family.

  • Tanya M. Herrera

    Dear Aimee,

    There are no words to truly express how much your words mean to me.  You have opened my eyes and heart to what truly matters.  At times, especially lately, I just want to throw the towel in.  I often feel that I am the backbone of my family.  I sometimes just want to be able to lean on someone and not be leaned on.  I know that God will never give us more than we can handle, but I am human and at times it seems to be a bit much.  The new rules you are implementing in your home are wonderful.  I am going to show my husband and see if we too can follow in your positive footsteps.   Thank you for sharing your wisdom.  It means the world to my family any everyone else who you have impacted.  May God continue to lead and guide you and your family.  God bless you,

    Tanya M. Herrera

  • Andreia

    creio que Deus tudo ve e sabe de todas as coisas,e claro que o senhor deixou vc passar por tudo isso e perder tudo,como voce mesma disse,mas as coisas em nossa vida sao escolhas que fazemos,se voce tivesse escolhido nao perder nada isso nao teria acontecido,e claro que a vida de sua filinha nao estava em questao,Deus tinha outros planos para ela!que agora esta no ceu brincando com os anjinhos!

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