During the month of February, we are excited to profile a different couple each day on our Blog site. We have asked each couple to share their answers to specific questions concerning marriage and family. The couples we have invited are at different stages in their marriage… Some have been married for decades while others for a few years. There are even couples who are separated with hopes of reconciling as well as couples currently experiencing a challenging time in their marriage. The one thing all of these couples have in common is their willingness to share “real” insights to help strengthen other marriages, families, and those desiring to be married.
Marriages are NOT all perfect and just because there are challenges doesn’t mean it cannot evolve into a GREAT marriage. Challenges = Growth Opportunities.
Our intention is to create more realistic depictions of marriage…the “real” deal and what it takes to make a marriage work. As you will realize by reading these couples’ insights, GREAT marriages don’t just happen. They take conscious effort and continuous work.
So let us learn from their wisdom. Feel free to chime in and ask questions or even just share your thoughts. After reading today’s insights, post your comment to the question: “What did I learn from today’s insights?” Let’s continue sharing insights. It is our desire to create a dialog so we all learn from others’ experiences and mistakes because this will help create more healthier marriages and families. Join the movement!
Let’s now read some insights from Dwayne and Leslie Bond…
Married 20 Years with 3 Children
- What are you doing to ensure your marriage is healthy and loving?
As best friends, we sincerely enjoy one another. We are intentional in nurturing our friendship, love relationship and marriage. We do this by laughing daily, dating regularly, communicating constantly and remaining on the same page. We view ourselves as a team working toward a common goal – to love God, one another, our children and those around us in an effort to bring glory to God and attract others to Him. We protect our marriage by remaining accountable to couples who are committed to our success.
- How do you keep the passion and excitement alive in your marriage?
We try to stay in “honeymoon mode” even after 20 years of marriage. We compliment and encourage one another and are each other’s biggest cheerleaders. We have chosen to make our marriage a huge priority. We taught our kids when they were young how important “mommy-daddy time” was. We ensure that we have regular times of intimacy, regular dates and annual week-long getaways.
- What makes the difference between having a GREAT marriage and a good marriage?
A great marriage requires a great investment. Just as it is in other areas, the law of reaping and sowing is at work in marriage. Oftentimes, we desire to reap harmony, peace and love in our marriages without ever having made an investment. Great marriages require investments of many kinds including service, sacrifice, humility and selflessness. Today, we are reaping from investments made over the past 10 years. Simultaneously, we are sowing seeds that we hope to reap as we move toward 25 years of marriage. Great investment – great return! Minimal investment – minimal return. No investment – no return.
- How important a role does God play in your marriage and family?
God is central to our marriage. We understand and embrace God’s blueprint for marriage as it relates to the calling and responsibility of the husband and wife. We believe that since God instituted marriage, He knows best how to conduct it. We are committed to His way. We also rely desperately on the Lord to give us the strength to honor Him in our marriage. We understand how God can use a marriage that mirrors the relationship between Christ and His church to influence the world and draw people to His kingdom.
- How do you resolve conflict so you maintain peace and harmony in your family?
We have “fair fighting” boundaries. We do not attack each other verbally, hurt each other physically, leave the house in anger, threaten one another or use the “d” word. We try to allow God to show us our own faults and take complete ownership of them. We try to refrain from playing the “blame game.” One of us has to eat the “humble pie” in order to move toward harmony again. We have evolved to this point over the past 20 years.
We recognize that we are two imperfect people with an imperfect marriage who must depend of God to live out our “one-flesh” union.
What did you enjoy the most from reading this couple’s insights?
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