During the month of February, we are excited to profile a different couple each day on our Blog site. We have asked each couple to share their answers to specific questions concerning marriage and family. The couples we have invited are at different stages in their marriage… Some have been married for decades while others for a few years. There are even couples who are separated with hopes of reconciling as well as couples currently experiencing a challenging time in their marriage. The one thing all of these couples have in common is their willingness to share “real” insights to help strengthen other marriages, families, and those desiring to be married.
Marriages are NOT all perfect and just because there are challenges doesn’t mean it cannot evolve into a GREAT marriage. Challenges = Growth Opportunities.
Our intention is to create more realistic depictions of marriage…the “real” deal and what it takes to make a marriage work. As you will realize by reading these couples’ insights, GREAT marriages don’t just happen. They take conscious effort and continuous work.
So let us learn from their wisdom. Feel free to chime in and ask questions or even just share your thoughts. After reading today’s insights, post your comment to the question: “What did I learn from today’s insights?” Let’s continue sharing insights. It is our desire to create a dialog so we all learn from others’ experiences and mistakes because this will help create more healthier marriages and families. Join the movement!
Let’s now read some insights from Mike and Lisa Shea…
Married 13.5 years with 3 children
What takes a good marriage and makes it great? Being intentional in a few key areas is the answer! After living through a divorce finding myself faced with a possible second divorce with 3 children, I was desperate. God had my attention and I was willing to put Him first. Putting God first in your marriage is most important. If you have that one down you are well on your way!
Love and Respect: Once you decide that God is going to be first, You need to obey His design for marriage. Our marriage was transformed thanks to Love and Respect Ministries (www.loveandrespect.com) and their book “Motivating Your Man God’s Way” by Dr. Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs. Applying Ephesians 5:33 “a man must love his wife as he loves himself and a wife must respect her husband” radically took my marriage from the pits to good. As I continue to apply respect, My husband Mike is motivated to show me love.
Being intentional in showing love to your wife and respect to your man takes your marriage to another level! As you focus on your spouse’s needs, your spouse will be more energized to focus on yours. The bible says, “We can reap what we sow.” A wise woman once told me, “It takes one willing heart and God to change a marriage.” The great thing is, if your spouse doesn’t honor God, you can and that will allow God to change your spouse’s heart. Don’t wait for your spouse to make the first move.
Forgiveness: So many times our issues are not the issues. The bible says to not let the sun go down on your anger. God also says that we need to forgive as we have been forgiven. Look at the bigger picture. See your spouse as a good hearted person. Let the little things slide and set a time aside to calmly discuss a conflict (implementing being loving if you’re a husband and being respectful if you are the wife).
Chemistry. Having our marriage flat line also caused our chemistry to fizzle. As we sought God’s model for marriage, He resurrected what was dead and brought new life to our relationship. Never believe the lie that you can’t get chemistry or romance back. It can come back and even better than ever! Be intentional by remembering what you did in the early years to keep things exciting. Even if its leaving a note with a reminder that says, “Remember when…” It doesn’t have to cost a lot. Maybe just a quick email or text that tells your spouse, “I was thinking about you today and I am smiling.”
It’s not always easy to honor God in your marriage. Be determined to put God first, honor Him by applying Ephesians 5:33, forgive quickly and remember the romance. As you do this, your marriage can go from bad to good to great. Trust God. His way works!
Post your comments to these two questions: “Which of these insights can I apply to my relationship?” and “What do I have to share that’s working in my relationship?”
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