Children

You Never Get a Second Chance to Make a First Impression

How do you feel about Sagging?

When a person walks into a room, how long does it take to for you to form your first impression?

What do you think?

What is it?

The answer is: “Just 7.3 seconds!”

Yes, you heard me correctly… “Just 7.3 seconds!”

So why is this important to you and your children?

It’s because a person’s appearance plays a major role in how others perceive that person.

Think about it… When you see a young person wearing a business suit, will your perception be different if that same person was wearing cut-off jeans and a tee-shirt in a job interview?

Honestly speaking, we all pre-judge and form first impressions when we first meet someone.

As parents, we have a responsibility to help our children understand the critical importance of their appearance in today’s competitive society.

Now listen, I understand there may be a difference of opinion when it comes to what is in style and what is not between parents and children.  Parents, let’s remember how we used to sometimes clash with our own parents when it came to the clothes we wore as teenagers.  Some of you remember just how badly you wanted to wear those…  You fill in the blank. (smile)

But seriously, it is very important that we have honest conversations with our children regarding the clothes they choose to wear because it does impact how others perceive them.

For our sons, let’s talk to them about “Sagging” because this definitely generates specific perceptions.  Sagging is wearing pants or jeans below the waist, hanging below the waist area and therefore revealing much of the underwear.

According to Shamontiel L. Vaughn, writer of “Sagging Pants: Hip Hop Trend or Prison Trend?”, she states, “Sagging pants was never meant to be fashionable. Prisoners wear their pants this low because belts are a popular way to commit suicide by hanging oneself, to hang others, or to use as a weapon in fights. Prisoners are also not allowed to have shoestrings for the same reasons.”

So let’s sit down with our sons and explain the origins of “Sagging” and help them understand the negative perceptions associated with wearing your pants off your butt.

For our daughters, let’s talk to them about what TRUE beauty really is.  Although many music videos still promote half-dressed women dancing provocatively, our daughters need to be empowered to realize they are beautiful regardless of what the media promotes.

As a keynote motivational speaker, who has traveled to 45 states and 14 countries giving presentations, I am still shocked when I see young girls and female teenagers dressed in shirts unbuttoned showing cleavage or wearing pants so tight that it looks like the pants are painted onto their body.

We parents must continue to build our daughters’ self-esteem everyday so they realize that their beauty is not based on what they wear but rather, comes from within.  And to you dads, realize that you play a very important role in building your daughter’s perception about herself.  Many women have shared how the love or lack of love which they received from their father tremendously impacted their self-esteem.  It’s time for more dads to step up and be a positive influence.  Do consider attending an upcoming Father – Daughter Summit (www.fathers.com/summit) because it is a phenomenal program for strengthening relationships.

Parents, make the time to discuss the power of first impressions with your children, their cousins and friends.  Some young people just don’t know any better and that’s why it’s our responsibility to share words of wisdom so they are enlightened.

Question of Reflection:

What is your perspective on this topic?

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